Kidding Around Column 1982-1984 Tideland News
...About Fishermen...Some men are so serious about fishing. When you get one out there in the creek fishing they will not leave until they catch one. Then, if they catch one, they won't leave 'cause they think they're gonna catch another one.
In other words, they're never satisfied. I'm telling you, a lot of life can go by whilst sitting around waiting for a man to catch one fish, never mind the next one.
...About Zucchini...I personally don't know anyone who loves zucchini. They are a strange food if you ask me. One day you have never heard of them and the next, they're all over the place. Stores have them, magazines are full of recipes for them, and just try opening a can of soup...there they are. I think that if we must grow zucchini here in the United States it should be for export only. Stop putting it in our soup and ship it to Russia. They deserve it.
...Politics '84...It's just as well that three of the eight Democratic candidates have dropped out of the race.I wasn't gonna vote for them anyway. Why? Well, Askew and Hollings just didn't strike me as presidential types in the first place.They don't even have big noses or floppy ears for which to poke fun at. No one could make decent cartoons out of them.
Alan Cranston has dropped out too.I am so glad because he didn't look good in a suit. If a man doesn't look good in a suit, he has no business being president.
Jesse Jackson is still hanging in there. Too bad...he's wasting his time. He looks too cute in a suit. Who ever heard of a "cute" president?
...A Friend Who Can Do Anything...I know someone who can do everything. She's a good cook, she can balance a checkbook, and she can sew, knit, and do needlepoint. It gets worse; she can also paint, refinish furniture, put up wall paper, and get this...she can even parallel park.
One evening I excitedly gave her a call. I thought I'd found something that even she couldn't do and I wanted her to know about it right away. You can imagine my surprise when she told me she can yodel too. I should have known.
Needless to say, I've crossed her off my Christmas list.
...At the Grocery Store... I witnessed the darnedest thing at the grocery store one day. It was simply amazing. Food prices hadn't gone down or anything wonderful like that. It's just that I was doing my usual shopping when all of a sudden, I heard a great commotion coming from the front of the store.
I feared the worst. Was it a robbery? Had the nuclear war started? I figured it was just my luck that I'd spend the few remaining minutes of my life on aisle six amid noodles and rice. Why couldn't I have been near the T-bone steaks, or even the beer department?