A "Vintage" Story, published in the Tideland News about 30 years ago.
Weekend Activities
All my life people have poked and prodded me into getting involved with a variety of weekend activities because they were supposed to be fun, or good for me.
Besides that, everyone knew that it was a disgrace to wake up on Monday morning and have no exciting weekend details to talk about.
I'm not sure, but I think this thing about spicing up one's life with so many forms of entertainment and recreational activities started with a simple afternoon. Some bored person started the rumor that if one stayed home on the weekend washing their hair or pruning shrubs, life would be a total waste. As in over.
Therefore, one must always have plans to be "doing something" all weekend. Preferably things that qualify as exciting and different.
Well, it's good to try new things. I believe in that. But, everyone has got to find their own niche in the outside world. I've got a niche somewhere and there have been times when I thought I'd hurt myself trying to find it.
But no one can say I haven't tried new things. No one can say that I'm not an adventurous person.
What things have I tried in order to spice up my otherwise dreary weekends? Well, let's see. I've tried bowling and I really enjoyed it too. However, I didn't get a very high score. Oh, I supposeI might have done better if the moon had been just right and if my ball had been perfectly round. As it was, I had a lopsided ball and I couldn't do a thing with it.
All things considered, I think bowling is an OK activity. What I don't like is getting involved in life threatening situations. I don't care if they are something to talk about on Monday.
Take roller skating for instance. It might be OK for the brave, agile, free spirit types if they want to do it. But me? Never again.
I scared myself so badly that my heart almost failed me. I don't think I'll ever hear it pound that fast again unless I'm either audited by the IRS, or stranded on a deserted island with Kenny Rogers.
Now, tennis is a good sport. I like that...it's right on up there with bowling. In tennis you can get a good work-out and it's not as dangerous as roller skating.
Wasn't it a wise person who put giant fences up around tennis courts? It sure helps. You don't have to fetch tennis balls out of the bushes or from beneath parked cars. I'd give up washing my hair for it and I think most folks would agree that playing tennis makes for a good Saturday afternoon.
Cross-country biking might be fun to do. I'm not in any hurry to start, however. I'm into conserving energy, especially when it's mine.
I hear that skiing in the snow is a great experience. I'm sure my "friends" would have coaxed me into trying it if there were any snow around here. Thank God I live in the south!
I never did like snow anyway. I'm sure not going to go out looking for any to break my neck on like other folks do. Ain't natural.
Water skiing seems interesting. Shucks, anybody can do that. Like I told a friend of mine, I'd try it myself but it would put me to too much trouble.
First, I'd have to learn how to swim. Then I'd have to take exercise and body-building classes so I'd look good in a bikini. Then I would have to go to the beach to get a good tan. So, don't hold your breath until I go water skiing.
I know folks who get a thrill out of sky-diving, for goodness sake! I haven't tried it yet, and just to be sure I don't, I'm not planning to go up in any airplanes either. And the next time you see someone hang gliding you can be sure of one thing, it won't be me.
I'll tell you something I ought to try, and that's karate. It would come in handy when I find myself surrounded by dangerous criminals, desperate shoppers at clearance sales, or friends who are trying to save me from a dull afternoon.
Yes, it seems that all my life I've been exposed to a variety of activities that could help a person lead an exciting, adventurous, and fulfilling life. I left out risky, didn't I?
Well, I guess I'm lucky that I'm still around to talk about it. I never really saw anything wrong with dull though. After all, dull doesn't break your bones or bruise your body. It also doesn't make you bleed or put unnecessary pressure on your heart.
I'm all for bringing back a good old dull weekend. After all, when Monday gets here I can always make something up.